Myth #5
Hormone swings make you crazy. Your friends wonder whatever happened to the even tempered person you used to be. One minute you are laughing hysterically and the next you are ready to smash your fist into the first face you see.

Molly jumped to her feet, raked her hands through her hair and started pacing around the room like a caged tiger. “We have to discuss it today, damn it!” Her fists were clenched at her sides. She tried to rein in her emotions, but was ready to explode and pitied the first person she faced. She could feel her face getting red. “You stay in here,” she shouted. “I’ll be back in ten minutes and you’d better have some great ideas.” She stomped out of her office and headed for the restroom.

Molly thought she finally had her life back again. She actually found nice things to say to her staff, they had come up with a couple of good ideas for reality shows that the suits thought might be worth investing in, and she was losing weight. Life was almost good…until the current hormones she was taking stopped working.
She knew the exact moment when it happened. She was staring out the window of her office in the middle of a meeting with her staff, and she spaced out. She saw herself in the middle of a corn field maze staring at a cornstalk and didn’t know how to get out.

“Molly! Molly!” Cassandra shouted her name. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m okay,” Molly muttered and glared at Cassandra. “Why the hell wouldn’t I be okay?”

“You just seemed kind of…distant.” Jonathan murmured, sitting back and looking at Molly through a narrow gaze. “Are you sure you want to discuss the next step in presenting the reality shows?”

Once she was in a nice quiet stall, she put her head in her hands and started to cry. What was wrong with her? She started laughing hysterically. Her poor staff was probably scrambling around trying to figure out what she really wanted for the presentation. She had become street-rat crazy. Teen age hormone shifts had nothing on her. She felt like she was 13 again, but without the cute body.

It was time to call Dr. Hormoneous again and let him know that the last round of hormone therapy wasn’t working. Molly wondered if every 50-year-old woman went through this. She dried her eyes, tried to clean up the mascara that made her look like a scary mime, took a deep breath and headed back to her office, determined not to scare her staff any more than she already had. She was shocked that they hadn’t all quit.

When she got to her office, it was empty. There were some story boards stacked on her chair and a flower on her desk with a note from Cassandra that hoped she was feeling better.   

Molly wasn’t surprised when Holly appeared during her restless night. She couldn’t get in to see Dr. Hormoneous or Dr. Purkee until tomorrow. She had a hot flash for the first time in more than a month, and was feeling very guilty about the way she treated her staff.

“Oh, Molly, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Holly shook her head, her arms crossed over her chest. “Getting the right combination of hormones takes some time. You have to be a little more patient…and I know better than anyone that it is very difficult for you.”

“I feel really bad about the way I treated my staff today.” Molly sniffed. “Cassandra even left a flower for me.” A tear slid down her cheek. “I don’t like the person I’ve become. I’m mean as a grizzly bear coming out of hibernation. My staff probably thinks I’m insane. I think I am sometimes.” She sighed. “Just when I thought I had my act together, the play was cancelled.”

Holly laughed softly. “Now that is funny. You haven’t lost your creativity, just control of your emotions sometimes.” She was silent for a moment. “Maybe you should discuss this with Dr. Purkee. I’ll bet she has some ideas to smooth out the emotional roller coaster that is happening to you while Dr. Hormoneous finds the right combination of hormones that work for you.”

Molly grunted. “I have an appointment with her in a couple of days. I’ll see what she has to offer.” Molly rubbed her face with her hands. “How am I going to make it up to my staff? What am I going to say to them?”

Holly clapped her hands and laughed. “That’s easy. Just take a big box of doughnuts to work tomorrow morning with a note that says you are so sorry for the meeting yesterday and reschedule it.”

“Maybe I’ll just call in sick. I’m too embarrassed.” Molly pulled the covers up over her head.

“Nonsense!” Holly burrowed under the blanket and fluttered around Molly’s right ear. “So you had a major meltdown. It happens to a lot of people. Put on that new outfit you bought, the new eye shadow and lipstick, those fabulous shoes and march into your office with your head held high. You can’t let these wacky hormones define your life.”

Molly sighed. “I suppose you are right. Maybe if I look the part of a producer, I’ll think like one and come up with a great idea.” She closed her eyes and murmured before she drifted off to sleep, “Maybe a reality show about a coven of bitches. Last one standing has to try to have sex with a 90-year-old toothless man who holds the world record for the longest and loudest fart.”  Now that would be a real winner. She wondered if the grey-haired men who ran the company would find the humor in that story idea.

Molly wanted to sit down and cry again. Instead she called Dr. Hormoneous, picked up the storyboards and her laptop and stomped out of the office. Just when she thought she was getting better…wham! Hormones…or lack of them…really sucked!

Note: This website is meant to entertain and enlighten. The only advice intended is for women to take charge of their health and their bodies. You know your body better than anyone. If you are not getting the answers you need, seek a second or third opinion. Research, research, research. There is a lot of information regarding menopause, symptoms and help. Get the best information and treatment possible and then move forward so you can enjoy the journey!